Parenting is a lifelong journey of self-improvement. Our children teach us so much, just as did our parents. We have a daily decision to make, to unconsciously parent based on how we were parented, for better or worse, to wait for problems to arise and then react to them with trial and error, or to be consciously aware, proactive, intentional parents.
Intentional parenting involves becoming your own person as a parent, not just a mirror image that blindly duplicates your subconscious childhood programming, nor a shadow image of parents you think made mistakes, by becoming the opposite, which can be just as dark and result in even bigger mistakes.
Anytime you make a decision, take action, or react based on opposition, resistance, defensiveness, resentment, or rebellion against something or someone, you are fueling it with negative energy. You can choose to do something differently, just use positive energy. Create a vision of what you do want, then set goals and take steps to move towards that direction. Be open to learning skills and developing the qualities you will need to achieve those goals and you will have a lifelong journey of self-improvement.
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As the next generation of parents, you have an awesome responsibility — and opportunity. No other generation of parents has faced such difficult circumstances in which to raise their children. You and your children face chronic high stress that can take a toll that’s similar to trauma — especially on developing brains and bodies.
Who are Your Influencers?
Instead of just having family to guide you, you have millions of well-intentioned “friends ” you “follow,” who try to “influence” you and your children to do what they want you to do — not because it’s good for you but because it worked for them or it’s good for their ego and pocketbooks. So, it’s your responsibility to evaluate advice you find and choose wisely for yourself and your children.
The world is different than when you were a child, but children haven’t really changed and neither has what research shows is effective for parents to do to raise healthy, resilient, self-sufficient, self-motivated adults.
So instead of thinking of your parents as “reverse role models” and your elderly grand-parents as irrelevant or obsolete, stay connected and see what you can learn from each other. They likely want to play a positive role in your and your child’s life and have a lot of knowledge and wisdom that you might be able to adapt to help you navigate parenting in today’s world.
Steps to Parenting in Today’s World
Start by creating a vision of the kind of parent you want to be. Set positive parenting intentions for yourself and think about the long-term goals you want your parenting to achieve. What skills and qualities do your children need to thrive in today’s world and resiliently adapt to whatever the future holds? What might you do differently today to try to ensure a better tomorrow?
Parents Toolshop® is here to support you as you figure out your answers to these questions, and to provide training in the skills you will need to develop to help your children develop into adults who can make the world a better place for future generations.
Attend a NeXt GenerationZ Parents Toolshop® training to learn the Universal Blueprint® GPS (Guide to Parenting Success) System, which provides a freeway you can follow to achieve your parenting goals and a map that can guide you to individualized solutions when problems arise. Get more information here.
Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE is President of Parent’s Toolshop® Consulting, where she oversees an international network of Toolshop® trainers. For 30+ years, Jody has trained tens thousands of parents and family professionals worldwide through her dynamic workshops and interviews with the media worldwide, including Parents and Working Mother magazines, and serving as the Co-Producer and Parenting Expert for the Emmy-nominated Ident-a-Kid television series. She is the author of the award-winning book, The Parent’s Toolshop® and countless multimedia resources that support and educate parents from diverse backgrounds and needs, and other adults who live or work with children. You can find them at her award-winning website, www.ParentsToolshop.com.
