Please choose from the letters below to quickly search the index:
A–B–C–D–E–F–G–H–I–J–K–L–M–N–O–P–Q–R–S–T–U–V–W–Y
A
ABC-123-D Steps 57, 79, 428
Abuse; child 118, 121, 338
Abusive relationships 29, 295, 352
Accountability 263
Addictions
to praise 91
to rewards 120
ADHD 11, 65, 297-300
diagnosing 297
external rewards 299
medication 300
primary symptoms 298
resources 311
treating 299
types 299
Adults
misbehavior 336
PU behavior 296
types of problems 57
Advice 151, 413
giving 177, 413
inaccurate 41, 87
parenting 2
screening 23, 41, 414
Affirmations 105, 424
Aggressive
anger 236
communication 259
Agreements 271
conditional 399, 408
confirming 272
Alcohol 340
Allowances 141-143
and chores 142
budgeting 143
credit 142
three-level plan 143
Anger 232
a-b-c steps 234, 259
aggressive 236, 428
assertive 237, 428
constructive 233
cycle 234
defusing others 249
destructive 233
energy 244
expressing 267
flash fires 429
healthy 233
log 253-255
outlets 244
passive 236, 430
passive-aggressive 237
personalized plan 246
physical effects 233
physical outlets 245
resources 256
smoldering embers 431
styles 236
summary 252
teaching children skills 247
trigger buttons 243
types of energy 244
verbal outlets 244
Apologies
conditional 267, 428
from children 217, 360
parental 358
Arguing 51, 75, 178, 276, 326, 347
avoiding 327
with parenting partners 412
Ask helpful questions 197
Assertive
anger 237
communication 260
expressing anger 267
teaching children skills 147
Attachment; bonding 91
Attention-seeking behavior 322, 324, 342, 343
Autism 297
Autocratic parenting 32
Avoiders 34, 52
B
Balanced Parenting 37, 48, 50, 52
Baths 135
Bedtime 69, 129, 132, 274, 291
problems 378
routines 132
Behavior charts 120
and ADHD 299
Behavior goals 342, 343
identifying 321
shifting 327, 328
Behavior modification 119, 428
(Also see “behavior charts”)
Beliefs 45, 235, 237
aggressive 236
assertive 237
Avoider 34
backpack analogy 158
Balanced parenting 37
choosing 235
helpful 236
negative 235
Over-controlling 28
Over-indulgence 35
passive 236
passive-aggressive 237
Perfectionistic Supervisor 31
religious 41, 286
rewriting 51, 237
Under-Controlling 33
Bickering 214
Bike safety 307, 347
Biting 72, 218
Blaming 177, 263, 428
Blended families 271, 347
discipline in 360
family councils 388
Body language 182, 265
Boredom 346
Borrowing 270
Bossiness 136, 270
Brain research 91
Brainstorming 200, 276
(also see “Problem solving”)
Bribery 117, 428
Bullies 199, 216
C
C/P problems 70, 259
Career decisions 155
Car seats, resisting 378
Child abuse 118, 121, 338
Child-friendly 131, 146, 152, 428
Child problems 62, 167, 266
taking over 168
Child Problem Toolbox 58, 62, 166, 225
Child-proofing 157
Choices 122-125, 326
adjusting as issues shift 362
Chores 83, 133, 142, 264, 270, 271, 277
and allowances 142
apprentices 145
goals of not doing 334
motives for not doing 56
young children 157
Cleaning 133, 285, 316, 334
(also see “chores” and “messes”)
teaching skills 146
Clear Communication Toolset 58, 258
agreements 271
describe effect of behavior 269
describe feelings 267
describe what you see 266
family councils 395
flash codes 275
nonverbal reminders 273
notes 274
problem solving 275
PU problems 304
quick reminders 273
rules/limits 131, 271
state expectations 270
use one word 274
Clinginess 156, 307
Cliqués 116, 199, 295
Clothing/hair styles 155, 310, 315
appropriate 164
Common problems
early elementary 309
infants 307
late elementary 309
preschoolers 309
preteens 310
toddlers 307
Communication 258
aggressive 259, 428
assertive 260, 428
barriers when listening 175
contradictory messages 264
double messages 264
fax analogy 172
hidden messages 261
listening 175
male/female 174, 295
nonverbal 261
passive 260, 430
problem-solving styles 172
shifting gears 273
styles of 259
tools 266
Community service 402
Comparisons 100, 101
Competition 100, 429
sports 102, 365
unhealthy 102, 432
Complaining 187, 235, 396
Compromise 263
Confessions 264
Confidence 105
parental 423
Conflict resolution
non-violent options 215
Conquerors 173, 428
Consensus decision-making 397, 428
Consequences
inconvenience 429
logical 368
natural 363
Consistency 410, 428
Cooperation Toolset 113
avoid bribery 117
child-friendly 131
choices in limits 122
don’t say “don’t” 125
humor 130
no “no’s” 127
plan ahead 121
politeness 131
PU problems 303
routines 132
rules for setting rules 131
summary 134
tools 117
vs. obedience 114
Counseling 294
and ADHD 300
Criticism 396, 415
constructive 95, 428
of parents 310, 415
responding to 416
setting limits 417
Crying 307
on purpose 334
Curfew 67, 269, 270, 276, 278, 286, 364
discipline for lying 340
Curiosity 307
Cussing 66, 302, 319
D
Dangerous behavior 67, 324, 330
Dating 295, 310
Death; explaining 250, 256, 402
Decision-making; consensus 397
Defiant compliance 237, 325, 429
Definitions 428
Defusing anger 249
Demanding one’s way 324
Dependency 153
Depression 251
Destructive behavior
during timeouts 372
tantrums 74
Development 291
delays 290, 429
elementary 292
infants 291
preschoolers 292
preteens 293
rates 290
resources 291
stages 289
style 289
teens 294
toddlers 291
Disagreements
negotiating 263
with partners 43, 412
Disappointment 268
Discipline 39, 56, 353
and ADHD 299
canceling 357
checklist 374
deciding severity 357
four R’S 354
inconvenient consequence 368
in family councils 395
involve children in deciding 358, 364, 365,
370
logical consequences 368
long-term effects 358
making amends 360
natural consequences 363
offering choices 362
reasonable 356, 357
reasons to use last 11, 320, 328, 330, 334,
368
related 356
respectful 358
restrictions 364
revealing 354
revengeful 329, 352, 356, 357, 368
setting time limits 356
summary of 375
taking action 362
time limits 357
time-outs 369
tools 360
trouble-shooting guide 374
vs. punishment 359
wording as a choice 362
Discipline Toolset 59
Discouragement 61, 90, 153, 331
Disrespect; toward parents 99, 126, 147, 267,
310, 315, 330
Distraction 305
Diversity 149
Divorce 106, 271, 336
effects on children 106, 339
family councils 387, 407
PO cycle 336
responding to children’s questions 154
stepparents 347, 360
Domestic violence 31, 295, 352
Don’t Say “Don’t” 125, 326
Double standards 429
Driving 67, 155, 272, 310, 364
Drugs 328, 347, 348, 381
addressing suspicions 340
ADHD medication 300
discipline for 381
E
Eating habits 89, 117, 164, 309, 422
(also see “Food”)
Education (also see “School”)
parent, self 424
Ego-esteem 87, 429
Elementary issues
common problems 75, 309
development 292
early 292, 309
independence 157
late 293, 309
Embarrassment
parents’ 268
sparing children’s 264, 266, 273, 275
Emotions
using for PO goals 334
Encouragement 87, 323
parent;self 105
self-affirmations 105, 424
when teaching skills 146
Environmental engineering 305
Exaggerations 267
Expectations
differences in 140
realistic for self 15, 423
stating 270
External problem solvers 173, 429
External recharge 429
children 370
activities 242
Extracurricular activities 64, 72, 293, 365
misbehavior during 365
F
Failure 104, 151 (see “Mistakes”)
reminding of past 264
Fairness 89
Family Councils 386
agenda options 390, 391
appropriate topics 395
benefits 387
blended families 360, 388
discussing discipline 395
discussion topic ideas 403
duration 394
early elementary 293
emergency meetings 50, 392
expressing concerns 396
formal format 390
foster parents 388
getting started 393
ground rules 395, 396
ice-breaker activities 403
informal format 391
late elementary 294
lesson ideas 401
listening to concerns 396
maintenance meetings 393
making decisions 397
pitfalls to avoid 396
preteens 294
problem-solving steps 397
purpose of 386
resources 390, 401
roles 388
sample agenda 404
scheduling 394
setting 394
summary sheet 405
teens 295
time limits 394
trouble-shooting guide 399
voting 392
young children 292, 393
Family therapy 300
Fashion fads 307, 310 (also see “Clothing”)
Favoritism 89, 100
F-A-X communication 172
F-A-X Listening 179
brainstorming 200
family councils 396
formula 185
giving information 199
identifying feelings 181
questions 197, 198
tools 181, 183, 303
trouble-shooting guide 223
when to take next step 202
X-amine possible solutions 200
Fears 193, 206, 226
Feelings 181
alternatives to “angry” 267
cartoon 183
denying 177
expressing 267
identifying 181
peeling onions 170
secondary emotions 182, 234, 267, 431
Fighting 216, 306, 315, 365
defense moves 217
making amends 360
Flash codes 275
Food
allergies 65, 311
bribes 117
complaints 89, 235
eating disorders 117
picky eaters 131, 164, 309, 379
Forgetfulness 126, 334, 364
Forgiveness 140, 246
Foster parents 43
and family councils 388
Foundation-Building Toolset 21, 48, 49
Avoiders 34
Balanced parenting 37-44
believe it, see it 45
double standards 46
Over-controlling 28
Over-Indulgers 35
parenting styles 28-44
Perfectionistic Supervisor 31
Power Patrol 29
PU problems 302
role model 47
summary sheet 49
tools 44
Under-controlling 33
Friends (also see “Peers/Friends”)
parents as 262
Fussiness 307
G
Gangs 116, 218, 222
Giving up 326, 331, 342, 343
Goals
family 23
individual 23
setting realistic 155, 423
societal 24
God, (also see “Spiritual references”)
Gossip 295
Grabbing 308
Grades 268 (also see “School,” “Homework”)
Grandparents 43
spoiling children 422
Guilt 264, 268, 429
self- 423
unhealthy 264, 432
H
Habits; resistance to change 14, 247
Healthy family traits 23
Healthy paranoia 429
Hidden messages 261
Historical trends
autocratic 32
balanced parenting 41
permissiveness 36
Homework 61, 73, 83, 219, 293, 294, 335
completing 135
forgetting 364
time management 219
Honesty 338 (also see “Lying”)
Hormones 294, 310
House diagram 1, 409
detailed 436
Human Bill of Rights 261
Humor 130, 268, 273, 326
Hyperactivity 298
I
Identifying problems 59-60, 77
Child vs. Parent 62
individual answers 59, 78
misjudging 75
PO goals 342
problem shifts 75
PU vs. PO 65, 289, 319
questions 60
SHARP RV 60, 62
summary 60
Ignoring behavior 304, 324
Illustrations
anger cycle 234
backpack analogy 158
balanced independence 138
balancing scale (3 styles) 25
belief>feeling>action 44
C/P pie charts 72
council role rotation 389
dominoes of anger cycle 234
fax communication 172
feeling words cartoon 183
growth in waves 423
Positive goals 323
Power struggles 123
problem-solving steps 172
with F-A-X 181
problems are like onions 55
toolbox>toolsets>tools 8
volcano, stress overload 239
volcano, trigger button 243
when to ask questions 197
Imagination; toddlers 292
Impulsiveness 298
Inconsistent parenting styles 43, 412
Independence 138
answering questions 154
ask their opinion 153
Balanced limits 139
definition 138
elementary age 157
handling mistakes 151
infants 157
let go 157
let them dream 155
notice the difficulty 153
nudge, don’t push 156
openly model behavior 144
Over-controlling 139
preschoolers 157
privacy 155, 198, 214, 337
quick tips 150
responsibility 139, 151
teaching skills 144
teens 158, 295
toddlers 157, 292
tools 144
Under-controlling 139
using outside resources 154
Independence Toolset
PU problems 303
Individuation 67, 158, 293, 294, 429
backpack analogy 158
safe options 68, 307
Infants 75, 291
and discipline 368
common problems 307
developmental issues 291
independence 157
In-laws 43
pressure/criticism from 412, 416
Internal motivation 323
Internal problem solver 173, 430
Internal recharge 430
activities 241
children 370
Interrupting 272, 322, 325
Intuition 423
J
Jobs 136, 156, 194, 295
Judging 96, 177
Junior high 294, 310
Juvenile delinquency 30
K
Keep Your Cool Toolset 58, 232, 252
(also see “Anger”)
Kidnapping 118 (also see “Child abuse”)
L
Labeling 98, 178
Latch-key children 35, 369
Lateness 156, 264, 270, 278, 364, 381
Laundry 132, 271, 274
Learning disabilities 297
Learning styles 289, 300, 428, 430
developmental pace 290
eight intelligences 300
resources 311
see/hear/do 125, 144, 300
whole/part 55
Lectures 269, 270, 273, 279, 396
Let go 157
poem 160
Limits 122, 428 (also see “Rules,” “Choices,”
“Clear Communi-cation Toolset”)
Listening 179, 273 (also see “F-A-X
Listening”)
responding to nonverbal messages 182
response formula 185
responses 183
trouble-shooting guide 189
Logical consequences 368
Lying 99, 337-339
developmental stages 338
discipline 380
following divorce 339
modeling honesty 286, 338
motives for 337
summary 340
M
Maintenance Toolbox 59, 73, 78, 384
Makeup 154
Making amends 360
apologies 217
suggestions 360
Manners 235
Marriage 174
Mealtime 309 (also see “Food,” “Picky
eaters”)
routines 132
picky eaters 379
Mediation 204, 208, 430
Medical conditions 65, 296 (also see “ADHD”)
Medication 300
Meditation 240, 256
Mental retardation 297
Messes 266, 270 (also see “Cleaning,”
“Chores”)
Military 41, 126
Misbehavior
adult 336, 416
during family councils 401
in public 81, 412
PU vs. PO 60, 289, 312, 319
purpose behind 322
Mistakes 151, 103
making amends for 361
parental 411
Modeling behavior 99, 326
openly model behavior 144, 430
Money
bribes 118
budgeting 143
earning 142
Moralizing 179
Mornings
routines 81, 82, 156, 157
delays 380
Motivation
internal 91, 114, 323
v. bribery 119
Myths
consistency 410
correcting parenting 420
N
Nagging 69, 323, 396
Name-calling 178, 328
Natural consequences 363
No “No’s” 127, 326
No problems 61, 167, 258
Non-violence 215
Nonverbal communication 261
body language 265
notes 274
signals 273
Notes 93, 274
encouragement 93
of apology 275
Nudge, don’t Push 156, 327
Nutrition 309 (also see “Food,” “Picky
eaters”)
picky eaters 379
O
Obedience 114, 430
dangers of 116
Offering choices 122, 326, 362
Onions; problems are like 55
Only children 400
Opinions
children’s 153, 326
difference of 263
listening to teens’ 189
Organizing belongings 146
Over-Controlling parenting 28, 48
Over-Indulger 35, 50, 52
Over-stimulation 74
P
Parent education 299
Parent Problem Toolbox 58, 230
when to use 230
Parent problems 63, 167, 230, 258, 266
Parent’s Toolshop
field test results 4
suggestions for use 13
unique qualities of 2
Parental concerns 60, 267, 269, 275, 276
about children’s friends 221
using helpful questions 199
Parenting
Avoider 34, 428
Balanced 37, 428
conscious 24
inconsistent 43, 412
myths 418, 420
over-compensation cycles 43, 430
Over-controlling 28, 430
Over-indulgent 50, 430
partners 22, 43,
Perfectionistic Supervisor 31, 430
permissive 36, 430
Power Patrol 29, 431
Under-controlling 33, 432
Summary sheet 48
Parties, teen 316
PASRR formula 7, 58, 430
Passive
anger 236
communication 260
Passive-aggressive
anger 237
communication 260
Peers/Friends 62, 220
acceptance 323
bullies 199, 216
cliqués 199, 295
conflicts with 63, 204
mediation 204, 208, 422
non-violent conflict resolution 215
parental concerns about 221
pressure 92, 116, 295, 310, 323
Perfectionism 103
Declaration of Imperfection 16
Perfectionistic Supervisors 31, 52
Permissiveness 36
Personality 65, 295
accepting choices 123
traits 295
Personal space 210
Perspective
choosing 44, 237
Pets 136, 266, 274
Picky eaters 131, 164, 235, 309
Plan Ahead 121
Playpens 163
PO problems 65, 289
attention 322
giving up 331
identifying 319, 342
payoffs 320
positive goals 322
power 325
preventing 320
revenge 328
summary of steps 342
using emotions to meet 334
vs. PU 65, 289, 319
with more than one goal 346
PO Toolset 58, 318, 343
Poems
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters 427
Let go 160
Listen 180
Positive goals of behavior 322
identifying 346
Positive/negative reinforcement 90
Positive words 125
Potty training 156, 290, 291
pressure to 422
Pouting 325
Power Patrols 29, 50, 52
Power struggles 123, 325
preventing 123, 326
redirecting 347
tantrums 74
Praise 87
“junkies” 91, 431
Prayer 240
Preaching 179
Prejudice 149
Preschoolers 75, 127, 292, 309 (also see
“Young children”)
independence 157
Pressure
from friends and relatives 412
peer (see “Peers/friends”)
to spank 351, 422
Preteens 75, 293
common problems 310
developmental issues 294
independence 158
Prevention Toolbox 20, 58
family councils 395
Pride 92, 429, 432
Privacy 155, 198, 214, 337
after divorce 339
need to know issues 155
Privileges
earning 141
restricting 70, 72, 364
Problem types 56
C/P problems 70, 335
Child problems 62, 167
identifying 60, 77, 78, 288
No problems 61, 167, 258
overwhelming 73
Parent problems 63, 167, 230, 258
PO Problems 65, 68, 319
PU problems 66, 288
questions to identify 60
SHARP RV 60, 62, 78
Problem solving 196, 200
approach conflicts 174
ask helpful questions 197
discussing discipline 365
family councils 204, 397
lead-in questions 200
on the run, Child problems 204
on the run, Parent problems 278
Parent problems 204, 275
steps 200,
style conflicts 174
styles 172
summary 225
timing conflicts 174
trial period 202
two-party 275
when to take steps 202
with teachers 220
worksheet 205
young children 203
Procrastination 163, 334
Property 60, 62, 78
damaging 378, 379
disputes 212
Puberty 294, 310
Public misbehavior 412
Punishment 350
adult PO goals 336
four R’S 353
long-term effects 351
physical 351
power plays 327
revengeful 329, 352, 356, 357, 359, 368
threats 355
vs. discipline 359
PU problems 65, 288
ADHD 289
early elementary 309
identifying 60, 65, 288
infants 307
late elementary 309
medical conditions 297
personality 67, 295
preschoolers 309
preteens 310
redirecting 304
teens 310
toddlers 307
turning into PO 66, 302, 319, 431
vs. PO 60, 65, 289, 312, 319
PU Toolset 288, 312
acceptable alternatives 305
distraction 305
environmental engineering 305
identifying PU problems 60, 289, 312
ignoring 304
PASRR formula 306
summary 312
targeting behavior 306
tools 304, 312
Q
Questions 197
answering 163
evaluating ideas 201
helpful 198
lead-in to problem solving 200
responding to “why?” 292
to reveal concerns 199
unhelpful 178
vague responses to 198
Quick reminders 273
Quick tips 150
R
Rebellion 158, 353, 431 (also see
“Individuation,” “Power strug-gles,” “Testing behavior”)
Recharge styles 241
Regression 15, 290, 431
Relatives; disciplining in front of 412
Relaxation 240
Religious references 41, 89, 240 (also see
“scriptural”)
Reminders 79, 273
Reminding 69
Rescuing 153, 164, 332
Resistance to change 14, 247
Resources 256, 311
anger management 256
angry teens 256
class meetings 388
developmental stages 291, 311
family councils 390, 401
food allergies 311
fussy babies 307
learning games 311
learning styles 311
marriage/couple communication 175
medical advice 311
meditation 256
sleep problems 307
spanking 382
stay-at-home parents 305
teens 311
using outside 163
violence prevention 401
young children 311
Respect 28, 33, 38, 262
for children’s opinions 153
for diversity 149
Responsibility 64, 139, 151, 431
denying 263
for Child problems 168
for others 168
three types 139
Restrictions 221, 364
deciding severity of 365
progressive 431
regressive 365
Revenge 237, 326, 328, 342, 343
Rewards 118
and ADHD 299
Rights 28, 33, 37
Human Bill of 261
Role modeling 47, 431
openly model behavior 144
Role playing 202
Roles/labels 98
Roughhousing 216
Routines 132, 326, 431
and ADHD 299
Rudeness 147, 272, 279 (also see
“disrespect”)
Rules 28, 33, 39, 131, 271, 326
hidden 271
violating 70
Running away 268, 346
S
Safety 60, 67, 78
car seats 378
wearing gear 238, 307, 347, 362
Sarcasm 260, 431
Sassing 99, 267(also see “disrespect”)
Schedules; extracurricular 64
School 62, 218
and ADHD 299
class meetings 388
conflicts with teachers 220
discipline 294
homework 61, 219 (also see “Homework”)
junior high/middle school 294
poor grades 365
problems 63, 335
rules 293, 294
Scriptural references (also see “Spiritual,”
“Religious”)
discipline 353
revenge 330
spanking 351
Secrets; good and bad 338
Security objects 188
Self-Esteem Toolset 85, 108
definition 86, 431
descriptive 96
handling mistakes 103
non-competition 101
no roles/labels 98
notice improvement 94
positive focus 93
PU problems 303
self-encouragement 105
self-image 86
self-motivation 91
tools 88, 108
unconditional love 88
Self-image 86
Self-talk
after praise 96
parental 105
Separation 157, 308
security objects 188
teens going out alone 381
Setting limits 122, 270
with adults 417
Sex
abuse; good/bad secrets 338 (also see “Child
abuse”)
premarital 295
Shame 264 (also see “guilt”)
Sharing 81, 212, 292
SHARP RV 60, 62, 78, 167
Shopping 89, 136, 268, 280, 286, 303, 328,
369, 422
Siblings 62, 207
apologies 217
bickering 214
bully/victim roles 216
feelings 170
fighting 216
intervening 208
mediation 204, 208
personal space 163, 210
property disputes 212
punishing 264
roles and labels 98
roughhousing 216
tattling 214
teasing 215
Silent treatment 324, 328, 334
Single parenting 90, 106 (also see “Divorce”)
family councils 387, 390
Sleep problems
infants 307
resources 311
toddlers 308
Smart-aleck 267 (also see “Arguing,”
“Disrespectful”)
Spanking 336, 351
pressure to 422
Spirited children 67, 295
Spiritual references 41, 89, 240
Spoiling 36, 87, 291, 308, 322, 422, 351
Sports 102, 365
Stay-at-home parents 305
stress management 242
Stealing 362
Step-parenting 347
discipline 360
Stress management 239
activities 239
for children 250
personalized plan 246
recharge styles 241
resources 256
Strong-willed children (also see “Spi-rited”
and “Power struggles”)
Suicide 103, 328
Summaries
Balanced Parenting Style 48
Clear Communication Toolset 283
Cooperation Toolset 134
detailed house 446
Discipline Toolset 375
discipline vs. punishment 359
family council activities 403
family council agenda 404
Family Council Toolset 405
F-A-X Listening Toolset 191
Foundation-Building Toolset 49
Independence Toolset 161
Keep Your Cool Toolset 252
Language of Encouragement 109
lying 337
obedience vs. cooperation 116
parenting styles 48
PASRR response formula 58
PO Toolset, goal comparison 342
PO Toolset, responses 343
praise vs. encouragement 88
Problem-Solving Toolset 225
Problem Type Identification 60
PU Toolset 312
Self-Esteem Toolset 108
suggestions for use 13
Three C’s 426
toolboxes and toolsets 8
Universal Blueprint flowchart 77
Support groups 424
T
Tantrums 74, 248, 325
public 371
resources 311
Tattling 214, 431
Taunting 215, 432
Teaching skills 144
and ADHD 300
behavior 147
defense moves 217
physical tasks 146
role playing 202
time management 293
timing 95
values 269
Teamwork 116, 323
Teasing 136, 215, 432
Teens 75, 294
angry 256
choices 124
chores 133
clothing/hair styles 155, 315
depression 251
developmental issues 294
driving 272, 364
encouraging 95
encouraging to talk 176
fads 158
family councils 390
feelings 189
friends/peers 221
gangs 116, 218, 222
independence 103, 158
individuation 67, 158, 159
jobs 136
logical consequences 364, 368
natural consequences 364
parties 136
peer pressure 116, 221
privacy 155
problem-solving 204
rebellion 127, 158
resources 311
routines 132
rules 132
suicide 103
values 269, 279
Telephone
parents’ use 325
teens’ use 310
Territory 214
Testing behavior 334
Therapy 18
Threats 69, 179, 354, 396
Throwing 308
Time-outs 369
activities 371
family 248
individual plan 372
locations 370
parental 239
power 431
public 371
setting time limits 372
Toddlers 75, 127, 291 (also see “Young
children”)
choices 124
common problems 307
communicating with 279
curiosity 292
developmental issues 291
discipline 368
feelings 170, 188
independence 157
learning styles 125
“no” stage 127
problem solving 203
routines 132
Toilet training 156, 290, 291
Tots (see “Toddlers”)
Touch 91
Toys
fights over 213
organizing 147
Transitional period 292, 432
Trial period 202, 277
Trigger buttons 243, 432
re-programming 244
Trouble-shooting guides
discipline 374
family councils 399
listening 189
problem-solving 223
when tools don’t work 16
True/false quiz 5
Tweens (see “Elementary issues”)
Two-party problem solving 275
U
Unconditional love 88
of self 106
Under-Controlling Parenting 33, 48
Universal Blueprint 60, 77, 78, 432
ABC-123-D steps 57, 79
identifying problem types 60
individualized plan 59
overview 9
PASRR formula 58
selecting tools 71
summary 60, 77-79, 446
toolbox 7, 432
toolsets 8, 432
V
Values 62, 159, 269, 286
conflict of 269
religious 286
teaching 149
teens 279
Venters 173, 432
Victimization 118, 121, 338, 352
sexual abuse 118
Violence/gangs 116, 218, 222
Visualization 240
Voting 38, 397
temporary votes 399
W
Warnings 179 (also see “Threats”)
Whining 126, 304, 308, 322
Wishes in Fantasy 129
Withdrawal 330
Worksheets
Anger Log 254
Decision-Making Worksheet 376
Parenting Styles Quiz 26
Problem-Solving 205
Myth/Truth quiz 5
Y
Young children 153 (also see “Tod-dlers” and
“Preschoolers”)
family councils 389
feelings 188
problem-solving 203
sharing 81, 213