Acknowledgments ……………………………………………………………………………….. vi-viii

Introducing Your Toolshop Tour Guide…………………………………………….. ix-xiv

Chapter 1: Touring The Parent’s Toolshop……………………………………………….. 1

Another Parenting Book? • What The Parent’s Toolshop Does • Suggestions for Use

STEP A: PREVENTION TOOLBOX……………………………………………………………….. 19

Chapter 2: Foundation-Building Toolset…………………………………………………… 21

Establishing a Common Language • What Are Our Parenting Goals? • Parenting   Styles • Parenting as a Team • Attitude Adjustment Tools • Practice • Detailed Answers

Chapter 3: The Universal Blueprint………………………………………………………….. 53

Balancing Logic and Emotion • ABC-123-D Steps • Types of Problems • Identifying Problem Types • Tips for Tots to Teens • Nobody Said Parenting Was Easy • Practice • Detailed Answers

Chapter 4: Self-Esteem Toolset…………………………………………………………………. 85

What Is Self-Esteem? • Encouragement Versus Praise • Self-Esteem Tools • Is Praise Ever Okay? • Encourage Yourself • The Language of Encouragement • Practice • Possible Answers

Chapter 5: Cooperation Toolset………………………………………………………………. 113

The Difference Between Cooperation and Obedience • Cooperation Tools • Practice• Possible Answers

Chapter 6: Independence Toolset…………………………………………………………….. 137

The Balance of Independence • Developing Responsibility • Independence Tools • Tips for Tots to Teens • Practice • Possible Answers

STEP B: CHILD PROBLEM TOOLBOX……………………………………………. 165

Taking over Child Problems

Chapter 7: F-A-X Listening Toolset…………………………………………………………. 169

Peeling Onions • Fax Communication • Problem-Solving Styles • Communication Barriers • F-A-X Listening • Step B1: Focus on Feelings • Tips for Tots and Teens • Practice • Possible Answers

Chapter 8: Problem-Solving Toolset……………………………………………………….. 195

Step B2: Ask Helpful Questions • Step B3: X-amine Possible Solutions • When to Move from Step to Step • Variations of Problem Solving • Problem-Solving Worksheet • Common Child Problems • Practice • Possible Answers

STEP C: PARENT PROBLEM TOOLBOX………………………………………………….. 229

Where We Are in the Universal Blueprint

Chapter 9: Keep Your Cool Toolset…………………………………………………………. 231

What Is Anger? • Steps of Constructive Anger/Stress Management • Resistance to Change • Dealing with Others’ Anger and Stress • Use an Anger Log

Chapter 10: Clear Communication Toolset…………………………………………….. 257

Styles of Communication • Nonverbal Communication • Clear Communication     Tools • Tips for Tots and Teens • Practice • Possible Answers

Chapter 11: PU Toolset (Problem behavior that’s Unintentional) …….. 287

Identifying PU Problems • Using the Universal Blueprint • Step C2: Redirecting PU Behavior • Common PU Behaviors • Practice • Detailed Answers

Chapter 12: PO Toolset (Problem behavior that’s “On Purpose”) …….. 317

Identifying PO Problems • The Four Types of PO Behavior • The Importance of the Universal Blueprint • PO Tools • Important Points to Remember • PO Combination Problems • The Goals of Adult Misbehavior • Lying • Practice • Detailed Answers

Chapter 13: Discipline Toolset………………………………………………………………… 349

The Difference Between Punishment and Discipline • Discipline Tools • Parent’s Decision-Making Worksheet • Practice • Detailed Answers

STEP D: MAINTENANCE TOOLBOX………………………………………………………. 383

Chapter 14: Family Council Toolset……………………………………………………… 385

The Purpose of Family Councils • The Benefits of Family Councils • Family Council Roles • Format Options • Getting Started—The First Few Meetings • Family Councils Use All the Tools • Family Council Trouble-Shooting Guide • Agenda/Activity Ideas • Practice • Detailed Answers

Chapter 15: Three C’s: Consistency, Criticism, Confidence…………………. 409

Increasing Consistency • Handling Criticism and Unhelpful Advice • Practice • Possible Answers Maintaining Your Confidence • Closing

APPENDIX

Glossary of Terms…………………………………………………………………………………… 428

Index…………………………………………………………………………………………………………. 433