The Problem with “I-messages” – Even effective tools can be misused and made ineffective. “In many ways, effective communication begins with mutual respect,[it’s] communication that inspires, [and] encourages others to do their best.” — Zig Ziglar, one of the world’s most successful motivational speakers What it’s Like Being Raised with Traditional I-messages You might know that I’m a second-generation parenting educator. So while I was growing up, my parents taught parenting classes at our church, where my mother was the Director of Christian... (Read More ...)

Effective Communication Skills:  How Can I Use Verbal and Nonverbal Communication Skills To Talk So Children Listen? Jennifer has 3 children ages 8, 12, and 16. She struggles getting any of them to listen and cooperate. Any time she tries to have a conversation with one of them about what needs done, they mumble or give her some teen code she has to look up, like “IKR Mom!  D” (Translation: “I Know, Right.”)  Later, when they don’t do what she asked, she wonders whether they didn’t understand what she meant or she didn’t understand their coded language! At times,  she... (Read More ...)

When children behave in problematic ways, Americans usually call that “misbehavior.” In some countries and cultures, there is no such word; all problematic behavior is seen as the child not knowing better and the parents’ are viewed as responsible for teaching children proper behavior, setting boundaries while they are learning, and redirecting improper behavior rather than punishing it. This is a pretty healthy view and response to children’s behavior that adults judge to be problematic. When we view problematic behavior as “misbehavior” that we judge to be... (Read More ...)